What? Yes, she died. She was only 17.
I received the news from bestie on Facebook chat last night, when the incident occurred in the early afternoon and had already spread to the other churchies. There was supposed to be soccer, but it was cancelled due to 'circumstances', which I only learnt was because of this at night.
It's such an eerie thing - sudden deaths - apparently she was still texting some of my church friends in the morning, which made her death even more shocking and unexpected. Can you imagine it? Can you imagine that your friend's text could be his/her last?
I didn't know her personally, but being the small homely church that mine is, everyone knew each other so I knew who she was. Even then, I couldn't help but feel the tinge of sorrow and pain, contagiously spread from the reactions of those who did know her personally and were closer. I thought I wasn't affected at all as this feeling didn't really distract me much from my activities at night... until I dreamt about it at night.
Yes, I dreamt about her dying. And somehow, she was revived, and everyone was ecstatic and wiping away tears of sorrow to be replaced by tears of joy. I don't recall the exact circumstances,but the gist was that she came back to life, somehow. Then I woke up. And I reminded of the reality. And then I felt really uneasy. I managed to go back to sleep, a more dreamless sleep this time.
Her Facebook wall is now flooded with eulogies from friends and loved ones, even from people who 'didn't really know her'. The comments can be heartbreaking to read, and basically painted her as a wonderful and fun person, and many expressed regret as to how they would never see her again. One line struck me:
If only you can look at your facebook wall and twitter now. Look at how much love and care you're getting. It really shows much of an impact you've made towards all your friends and families.
Indeed, this young girl has made quite an impact on her friends and families. But it also got me thinking - have I lived the life that I should, and impacted people in ways that I want to?
And more importantly, am I treasuring my friends as much as I should? If I were to die tomorrow, would I have any regrets? There were so many 'would have, should have, could have's in the Facebook posts that it really makes you ponder about the fragility of life - one moment you are here, the next moment you may be gone.
Perhaps now would be an apt time to express my gratitude to my close friends. Perhaps we should do this everyday if possible. I'm not going to be thorough and elaborate as that would probably be another blog post in itself, but I hope that the mere listing of your name here indicates your worth to me -
In no particular order:
To becky, weiqin, pewi, joann, candice, thank you for being an integral part of my life. Thank you for being there when I need you, in whatever ways you have been. You are people I am comfortable sharing almost anything with, people who I'm comfortable being around, people I enjoy spending time with. You are those I consider my close friends, and I hope our friendship continues to blossom and we'll be there for each other for a long, long time.
To christabel bestie chong, thank you for being my friend for the past 10 years. Thank you for always being there when I needed a confidante or someone to hang with, thank you for being just such a fantastic bestie. And to quote your own words which I really like - may we be besties till we're old and wrinkly!
And saving the best for the last - To my beloved szehong, thank you for being my partner and companion for the past 2 years. I really can't imagine what my life would have been without you - probably like a dark night sky, devoid of stars. But you, you are that bright meteor that shoots through the air and lights up my world. You bring comfort and joy to my heart, and you fulfil my desire for companionship like no one else can. I hope we can experience such passion and love for each other for the rest of our lives.
Have you told your loved ones how much you love them, today?
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