mcdonalds

back by popular demand (or rather the constant request of one person)

DISCLAIMER: The below event is entirely ficitatious and is a product of the author's imagination.


At a board meeting for McDonalds 3 weeks ago... 2 weeks after the Hello Kitty HP board meeting..


Chairman : Ok, we've been hitting a slump lately. Our online campaign seems quite a hit, Mcdelivery sales has gone up 40%! Seems like everyone wants the Hello Kitty phone ??

Marketing Director 1: Yea man! one of my friend's sister's friend's brother actually won the 1st week's Hello Kitty Sony Ericsson phone and he was so happy about it!

MD 2: Are you kidding? You mean he used it?

MD 1: er no.. he was just happy that he won it. singaporeans are like that what, you offer a prize, they'll do anything to win it. even if it means doing stupid things like ordering countless numbers of meals online. He's putting the phone on Ebay.

Chairman: okok back on topic. as i was saying, online sales has gone up 40%.. but our dine-in sales has dropped 40%!!!

MD1: oh dear, must be that bulk of customers deciding to stop dining in and order online to win the useless Hello Kitty phone.

Chairman: yea. we need an idea to attract them to dine in!

MD2: how about offering something useless again? Like.. a bugs bunny t shirt? or maybe we can start selling Hello kittys again to attract people?

MD1: nah having 2 hello kitty things seems counterproductive. people may start questioning why we support hello kitty so much too. i mean, he (she?) doesnt even have a mouth to eat mcdonalds! are we promoting non-eating?how about scratch and win coupons again?

Chairman: hmm ok we shall have the scratch and win coupons again.. but it seems so repetitive! we had it several years back. is there any way to innovate and come up with a different type of scratch and win thing?

MD2: how about stickers instead of scratch and win? they peel off the cover of the coupon to see their prize.

MD1: yea but that'll mean they need something to stick to? we gonna provide like a... game sheet?

MD2: How about a game board! We could make a MCdonalds edition of Monopoly! There's been star wars, singapore, lord of the rings, i dont see why not Mcdonalds!

Chairman: ah yes, that's quite brilliant! and we're gonna have to tack on a grand prize that's wildly attractive so that people will want to work towards it!

MD1: eh, let's do marketing cheat #129 ?

MD2: which one is that?

MD1: Marketting cheat #129 : "The creation of a huge grand prize with very low odds to win, hence attracting strong participation, but subsequently removing those very odds completely such that the management wins."

MD2: you're suggesting we make the grand prize .. unwinnable?

MD1: yes. let's say for monopoly, the winning ticket will be the dark blue one. we just print alot of the other dark blue set so that people get all hyped up when they get one half of it. what they don't know is that we didn't even print the other half! so they'll never win!

Chairman : that's positively brilliant. ok we'll make the prize money something amazing.. $50k! let's see how many people get suckered into it =D