Funny conver

I just thought this conversation was funny.

I was sitting on the train home and there was a girl next to me yakking away on the phone about something quite loudly. She sounded EXACTLY like one of my friends, Munching. Thus I texted her.

Not sure how this description was supposed to help. Guess I have to spot that single strand of short hair which should be quite distinct.

(Vincent is Munching's boyfriend)

Linguistic Hypersensitivity Disorder

Dear friends,

I have a problem.

A psychological disorder, to be precise. This is not a joke, it is a serious entry, really. Do hear me out.

I have Linguistic Hypersensitivity Disorder. No, it does not really exist, it's a term I made up. If I were to provide a definition, it is 'being excessively sensitive to the semantics of language'.

There are 3 components to this disorder which I will go through in turn - excessive semantic activation,  oversensitivity to irregularities and overinterpretation of emotional content in language.


1) Excessive semantic activation
When you see the word 'deliver', what do you think of? If you said 'mail', 'parcel', 'a speech', they would all be fairly normal responses. It's natural to think of these relevant associations.

 How about when you see the sentence: 'I went to the post office to deliver the mail' ?Now, with the relevant contextual cue (post office, mail), the word 'deliver' seems unambiguous. The sentence is a straightforward one, right?

Not for me. 

Because of my excessive semantic activation, what goes on in my head is something like this:

" deliver the male? deliver = give birth? deliver mail? letters? Post-it? post office as in lead office? de-liver? removing a liver? removing the liver of a male? "

It's like my brain disregards any contextual cues and automatically provides every possible interpretation of every word in every combination.Not just that, but it also generates homonyms (words that sound similar, such as male and mail) automaticallyAND even breaks up any possible compound word.
For a simple sentence like that, my brain refuses to cooperate but instead goes on at 5 thoughts/second and floods my mind with these semantic alternatives. 

This could be why I love wordplay/puns so much, because I naturally see the world as such. I immediately interpret the secondary meaning of an ambiguous sentence before the primary meaning. I see the pun before I see the original meaning.

This excessive automatic interpretation, more often than not, is annoying rather than helpful. People say I am 'damn lame', 'corny', etc. (When I see these words I immediately think of being handicapped, maize, btw) and think I'm trying to be funny or something. But it's not like I want to. My brain is just wired to BE like this.


2)  Oversensitivity to irregularities
This are a grammatically incorrect sentence.

The above is an example of an irregularity in the English language. Because we have our rules of grammar and syntax, anything that violates them is an irregularity.

It's natural to pick up on such errors. Heck, it's even essential to do so, such as when we are proofreading our assignments.

However, for me, such errors do not just stand out. They jump out at me. No wait, they dont just jump out, they jump at me and double punch and roundhouse kick me in my face. I think staring at a grammatically incorrect sentence for a long time actually makes me feel more uneasy than watching a needle enter my vein. I'm not exaggerating.
Seeing a blatant grammatical error is like having a splinter in my thumb; a sharp rough stone in my shoe; a pesky housefly darting around my face. Make that a dozen houseflies; I just WANT to do/say something about it.

It's not that I want to correct you. I want to correct IT. Call me grammar nazi or whatever, but it seems more like a specific instance of OCD. I am flooded with the thoughts of the bad grammar and how it should be right, and I am compelled to act upon it by telling you.


3) Overinterpretation of emotional content
When someone says 'Thanks alot', it can mean many different things.

If he says it with an exclamation, a smile on his face, he is probably feeling very grateful.
If he says it grudgingly, looking at his shoes, he could be forced to say it or just saying it for manners.
If he says it with a sneer, he's probably being sarcastic and doesn't really mean to thank you.

In face to face settings, you can interpret what the person means by such cues or tone of voice, etc. My problem already begins here - Im VERY attuned to pick up the slightest of cues. And this is of course not always accurate. Perhaps you were exhausted and your "thanks alot" was lacklustre. But I will pick up immediately on the underenthusiastic reply and my brain starts firing away: 'is he being sarcastic? Why? Did I do something wrong? What did I do?'

Of course I don't act upon this all the time. Often after going through this mental checklist, I decide that there's no reason to believe that it was something on my part that went wrong. So I don't go into panic mode.


In online/text messaging it gets worse. Now, gone are the visible cues, and all you have are words. Words that have absolutely no contextual cue whatsoever besides the very syntax and semantics they possess in the sentence.
Imagine how I interpret things like 'Go away'. Does he mean 'haha go away la' or 'go away you #$#@(!@ i hate you'.

I can't think of more examples but the layman's description of this is 'I am a sensitive person'. Yes you may not mean to hurt me with the things you say but you do. I just try to repress it. Damage control. But my brain moves faster than I control it.


~~

If you have read to this point without just scrolling down from the top without reading anything, I extend my hand to shake yours. Because you have taken about 5-10 minutes of your time to understand me. And I appreciate it. Thank you.

And the circle is complete... well not quite

This is a very short post about my modes of communication.

I used to have THREE distinct ways (almost 4, if you consider the 4th one to be counted (read on) ) of travelling to NUS, and now with the Circle Line opening fully, I have SIX distinct ways to travel to school!!

And the thing is they all take about the same time!! So it's not a clear choice at all! Often I decide just by what I 'feel' like taking. Sometimes it's because I'm going to Science so obviously I won't be going to KRT when I can go directly to Science.
 But yea, introducing, the SIX ways I have to travel to school  (using public transport duh, I'm not talking about like using aeroplane, bicycle, running, crawling, walking backwards, sailing etc)


1)  Train from Boon Keng to Harborfront. Then take Bus 10
PROS
-Once the train clears Dhoby Gaut, sometimes I'll get to sit until Harborfront, not always though. Most of the time after Outram there'll be seats.. but it's just one stop.
-10 is a relatively long bus ride (20-30 mins) so can have a nap. Sure got seats (90% of the time, sometimes single decker then suay)

CONS
-Bus 10 takes 10 million years to come, so time taken is dependent on waiting time.
-It stops at Kent Ridge Terminal (KRT) which can be far from certain classrooms, and far from Central Lib (CL)

1a) Train from Boon Keng to Harborfront. Then take bus 30, and a few other buses that only stops at Heng Mui Keng Terrace
PROS
- Much higher frequency than Bus 10, thus shorter waiting time (sometimes 3 of each of these buses come and not even one bus 10 comes)
- Awesome if you're going to Biz faculty

CONS
- Only stops at Heng Mui Keng Terrace (Outside Biz), so it's a 10+ min walk into Arts

2) Train from Boon Keng to Outram Park, change to EW line, take to Buona Vista, then take Bus 95
PROS
- Slightly faster than option 1
- Stops at CL, easy access to everywhere

CONS
- 95 can be a bitch to get on during peak hours. Can miss 1-3 buses in a row cos they're ALL FULL
- Have to walk quite far to change to EW line at Outram Park.

3) Take 151, direct into NUS.
PROS
- Straight bus, can sleep for damn long
- Ends up directly in NUS, stops at stop right outside U Town

CONS
- Have to walk quite far to the bus stop from my house. (About 5+ mins further than the MRT station)
- Takes longer than 1 sometimes

4) Train from Boon Keng to Outram Park, change to EW line, take to Clementi, then take Bus 96
PROS
- 96 apparently comes often enough
- Can get seats cos 96 is from the terminals

CONS
- Takes longer than 2 (I think)
- Cannot go to Science directly
- I've almost never taken this route before (well the few times I did was because I was meeting ppl at Clementi first)

5) Train from Boon Keng to Harborfront, change to Circle Line to Kent Ridge, then another bus down to Arts
PROS
- Can take the cool new Circle Line
- Lights of Circle Line train very bright

CONS
- Takes longer or about the same time as all the previous options
- Must change so many times
- Lights of Circle Line train very bright

6) Train from Boon Keng to Serangoon, change to Circle Line to Kent Ridge, then another bus down to Arts
PROS
- Fun to try new routes

CONS
- Long walk from Serangoon NEL to Circle Line
- Takes slightly longer than 5 (I think, according to my mathematical estimations based on Train times on the board)


Truly, the tyranny of choice. Some options are good, but too many is terrible.