Dear Future Me,
One day, some time in the future, you're going to want to play WoW again. I don't know when it will be, it could be in a few years, next year, next holidays, next month or even next week. But it will happen, for sure.
You're going to feel the urge to return to the World of Warcraft, the World you have spent hours and days in, the world you have spent so much time in. You're going to feel the desire to raid again, to fight in a co-ordinated team effort and kill bosses that are oh so difficult. You're going to want to experience the thrill of gearing up your character with the most powerful loot. You're going to think 'oh why not, i'm so free anyway!'.
HOWEVER.
You need to stop that thought right there. For your own good, DO NOT START AGAIN!
If you start,
- You're going to be bounded to the game for AT LEAST 16 hours a week
- You're going to lose about $20 a month
- You're going to find it hard to schedule project meetings because you have to go home early 3 weekdays (assuming you join a AUS/NZ guild, which you have to anw as there's no SG guild that's decent)
- You're going to be studying every single free day you have and wonder why other people seem so free.
- You're going to find you can't finish your assignments.
- You're going to have to rush your dinner so often you don't even enjoy the food
- You're going to reject outings to play WoW
- You're going to want to go home from outings earlier to play WoW.
- You're going to plan your schedule AROUND WoW. That's just messed up.
(Interesting article about how video games keep you hooked)
And worst of all, you're going to neglect those around you. Those that you care and cherish, but you just think 'nvm I'll play first, talk to them later. They'll understand'. They don't.
You'll start losing contact with people. You'll start losing those you care about. You'll make them upset. And it killed you. It made YOU upset.
If you're still lucky enough to have a gf, you're going to make HER upset. You'll make her feel neglected.
Don't be stupid. A silly game isn't worth it. A silly game isn't worth giving up your social life. Or your studies. Or love.
Think of the free time you have to do what you want, what you need to do.
Think of the good conversations you can have with your friends
Think of the good conversations you had with your gf.
Think of the feeling of just enjoying the moment, and not thinking about what's next.
Think of being able to meet up with people!
A virtual world is not a real one, by definition. Don't go and live in one again.
Do NOT start playing World of Warcraft.
Love,
Present me.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Friday, 2 September 2011
My Worst Handicap
Have you ever considered how much of a handicap 'inability to form preferences' is?
Almost everything we do in life is governed by this ability. I'm not just talking about our conscious decisions, but the seemingly trivial things as well.
The presence of this ability in our conscious decisions is obvious. What should I eat for lunch today? Hmm, I feel like Western (a preference)... but I just ate some fried food yesterday and I need to stay healthy ( a preference).. I think I will eat YTF today (a preference (e.g.why not porridge? or bread?) ).
How about the less conscious decisions - the things that have became routine? Why do you take the train to school and not the bus? Oh, because trains come more consistently than buses (preference for regularity)
In the morning, why do you brush your teeth before eating instead of eating then brushing your teeth? (The latter is not as outrageous as you think - many Western cultures do that) Preference.
And then there are the things that we also do without realizing that preferences played a part.
When we are getting from point A to point B, and an obstacle is right smack in the middle and we have to go around it - do we take the left or the right path around it? Why? You clearly had some preference towards one side. Maybe the lighting was better. Maybe the floor looked cleaner. SOMETHING led to your choice of the path you took.
It is clear that having preferences is extremely important to daily functioning. If you couldn't decide how to get around a piece of litter on the floor, you'll be stuck on the spot forever - akin to Buridan's donkey!
After some thought, I realize that I have this unfortunate impairment of my ability to form preferences.
Before elaborating on that, I want to say that I am generally an apathetic person. I have to make the conscious effort to get involved in things that matter to the world, things that I SHOULD show some sort of interest in but have none.
One simple example was the General Elections (or even Presidential Elections). The whole country was abuzz with political debate, but my innate nature made me think 'Frankly, I don't give a damn!'
Of course, being the developed, normal-functioning adult I am, I consciously made an effort to at least read up abit and keep up to date with what was happening in the GE and tried to form preferences based on relevant available information.
I care, just to fit in socially.
This is not to say I am unfeeling or have no sympathy. I do care for people close to me. I do help the old lady across the road. I do give up my seat on MRTs (not just to fit in socially). But just in a majority of other situations, I don't really care.
Digression aside, back to my particular handicap. I can't form preferences easily. Or at all, sometimes.
1) Gift selection
The simplest example that really bugs me is that I am REALLY bad at getting presents for people's birthday. It's like, I have the desire of getting someone a present, but I epicly fail in the 'present-selection' part of the 'getting someone a present' process.
(I did want to get you a present, friend C! ohnoes. But didn't know what to get. :( )
When I tell friends of this problem they'll give me the generic advice 'Oh just get him/her something useful and you think he'll like!' or even 'Don't worry, it's the thought that counts!'
For the first line of advice, my impairment prevents me from coming up with any solid ideas, and for the latter piece of advice.. well now you know that I always DO have the thought. (Well, if you're close enough to me, that is)
And money is clearly not an issue which can be shown in cases where I attend a friend's party or something with several others and we decide to share a present. When they ask me what my budget is, I always respond with something along the lines of 'No real budget la.. just not too ex?'. I just need someone to formulate the precise item to get for me, and I will get it (Obvious exceptions exist, such as if it IS expensive and I can't afford it)
2) Job selection
This is something that is weighing subtly on my mind.
What this paradoxical statement means is that I know I should be worrying about it, and I do, almost at the sub-conscious level, but I don't consciously think about it and worry about it. But it's persistently there.
What exactly it is is this - I'm currently going through my undergraduate studies to get a degree in Social Sciences, with a major in Psychology. What is the natural job path for this? NOTHING.
I don't think I want to be a counselling Psychologist, and anyway that requires another 6 years of education (Masters + PHD... ok maybe 4? No idea)
That's about the only clearcut job that a Psychology major can do.
There's also the I/O (industrial/organizational) aspect that sounded interesting to me for a bit (i.e. working in HR), but after some asking around, I realized you need to have a solid business background to do it (probably a MBA) or at least a double major in some Business aspect.
Specifically, I don't have a particular field or job role that I WANT to work as.
I look around me at the people who know what they want to be. bestie wants to work in some town planning or urban development field. Or something like that. candice wants to be some fashion mag editor or something. (sorry my memory is bad) And recently qin has pursued her passion of writing in her internship at SPH and I'm really glad for her, hope it pans out! (though the gf seems to be in the same boat and as clueless as me... the plight of Psych majors!) (or maybe she has something thought out and I just haven't asked her about it recently)
Me? I don't have this 'thing' that I want to do. I don't even have a clear field that I have a preference to. What am I going to do when I graduate?
(Extremely random note - I'm writing this in school at the computer lab, and an angmoh girl (An exchange student, I presume) has difficulties getting her printing done and is asking the nice guy next to her. She disturbs him at least 2-3 times with a short query, and each time the guy helps her with a response, she does not thank him in anyway! How impolite! She just goes 'oh.'
If she asks me something I'm going to ask her to hit Ctrl Alt Delete)
This handicap affects me in many other ways. Something as simple as choosing what to eat can be a complicated dilemma. What to wear? Even worst.
How do I treat this handicap? How do I develop an ability to form preferences?
Hmm, I'm thinking whether I should come up with a witty ending to this post. I can't decide.
Almost everything we do in life is governed by this ability. I'm not just talking about our conscious decisions, but the seemingly trivial things as well.
The presence of this ability in our conscious decisions is obvious. What should I eat for lunch today? Hmm, I feel like Western (a preference)... but I just ate some fried food yesterday and I need to stay healthy ( a preference).. I think I will eat YTF today (a preference (e.g.why not porridge? or bread?) ).
How about the less conscious decisions - the things that have became routine? Why do you take the train to school and not the bus? Oh, because trains come more consistently than buses (preference for regularity)
In the morning, why do you brush your teeth before eating instead of eating then brushing your teeth? (The latter is not as outrageous as you think - many Western cultures do that) Preference.
And then there are the things that we also do without realizing that preferences played a part.
When we are getting from point A to point B, and an obstacle is right smack in the middle and we have to go around it - do we take the left or the right path around it? Why? You clearly had some preference towards one side. Maybe the lighting was better. Maybe the floor looked cleaner. SOMETHING led to your choice of the path you took.
It is clear that having preferences is extremely important to daily functioning. If you couldn't decide how to get around a piece of litter on the floor, you'll be stuck on the spot forever - akin to Buridan's donkey!
After some thought, I realize that I have this unfortunate impairment of my ability to form preferences.
Before elaborating on that, I want to say that I am generally an apathetic person. I have to make the conscious effort to get involved in things that matter to the world, things that I SHOULD show some sort of interest in but have none.
One simple example was the General Elections (or even Presidential Elections). The whole country was abuzz with political debate, but my innate nature made me think 'Frankly, I don't give a damn!'
Of course, being the developed, normal-functioning adult I am, I consciously made an effort to at least read up abit and keep up to date with what was happening in the GE and tried to form preferences based on relevant available information.
I care, just to fit in socially.
This is not to say I am unfeeling or have no sympathy. I do care for people close to me. I do help the old lady across the road. I do give up my seat on MRTs (not just to fit in socially). But just in a majority of other situations, I don't really care.
Digression aside, back to my particular handicap. I can't form preferences easily. Or at all, sometimes.
1) Gift selection
The simplest example that really bugs me is that I am REALLY bad at getting presents for people's birthday. It's like, I have the desire of getting someone a present, but I epicly fail in the 'present-selection' part of the 'getting someone a present' process.
Schematic DiagramHow do you even know what someone wants? Or what to get? What if they don't like it? I have difficulty buying things for MYSELF, much less buying things for others.
Desire of getting someone a present -> present selection -> locating said present (i.e. shopping) / preparing said present -> delivery of present
(sorry, just studied Cog Psych and they love using schematics to represent things)
(I did want to get you a present, friend C! ohnoes. But didn't know what to get. :( )
When I tell friends of this problem they'll give me the generic advice 'Oh just get him/her something useful and you think he'll like!' or even 'Don't worry, it's the thought that counts!'
For the first line of advice, my impairment prevents me from coming up with any solid ideas, and for the latter piece of advice.. well now you know that I always DO have the thought. (Well, if you're close enough to me, that is)
And money is clearly not an issue which can be shown in cases where I attend a friend's party or something with several others and we decide to share a present. When they ask me what my budget is, I always respond with something along the lines of 'No real budget la.. just not too ex?'. I just need someone to formulate the precise item to get for me, and I will get it (Obvious exceptions exist, such as if it IS expensive and I can't afford it)
2) Job selection
This is something that is weighing subtly on my mind.
What this paradoxical statement means is that I know I should be worrying about it, and I do, almost at the sub-conscious level, but I don't consciously think about it and worry about it. But it's persistently there.
What exactly it is is this - I'm currently going through my undergraduate studies to get a degree in Social Sciences, with a major in Psychology. What is the natural job path for this? NOTHING.
I don't think I want to be a counselling Psychologist, and anyway that requires another 6 years of education (Masters + PHD... ok maybe 4? No idea)
That's about the only clearcut job that a Psychology major can do.
There's also the I/O (industrial/organizational) aspect that sounded interesting to me for a bit (i.e. working in HR), but after some asking around, I realized you need to have a solid business background to do it (probably a MBA) or at least a double major in some Business aspect.
Specifically, I don't have a particular field or job role that I WANT to work as.
I look around me at the people who know what they want to be. bestie wants to work in some town planning or urban development field. Or something like that. candice wants to be some fashion mag editor or something. (sorry my memory is bad) And recently qin has pursued her passion of writing in her internship at SPH and I'm really glad for her, hope it pans out! (though the gf seems to be in the same boat and as clueless as me... the plight of Psych majors!) (or maybe she has something thought out and I just haven't asked her about it recently)
Me? I don't have this 'thing' that I want to do. I don't even have a clear field that I have a preference to. What am I going to do when I graduate?
(Extremely random note - I'm writing this in school at the computer lab, and an angmoh girl (An exchange student, I presume) has difficulties getting her printing done and is asking the nice guy next to her. She disturbs him at least 2-3 times with a short query, and each time the guy helps her with a response, she does not thank him in anyway! How impolite! She just goes 'oh.'
If she asks me something I'm going to ask her to hit Ctrl Alt Delete)
This handicap affects me in many other ways. Something as simple as choosing what to eat can be a complicated dilemma. What to wear? Even worst.
How do I treat this handicap? How do I develop an ability to form preferences?
Hmm, I'm thinking whether I should come up with a witty ending to this post. I can't decide.
Saturday, 23 July 2011
The self.
Hello everyone! I haven't blogged in ages, which as you know, is usually due to one of the 3 reasons:
1) My mothership has come to pick me up, but I firmly refuse, and so they sent twenty six little aliens to catch me but I've been evading them for the past few weeks and finally managed to exterminate all of them and hence I'm back.
(On a side note, someone just told me Mr Bean is actually an alien... that's why the opening sequence shows him falling from the sky under a spotlight thing. And also why he's so socially awkward. True/False?)
2) A hungry rat found its way into my CPU and has gnawed through all the circuits and wire and finally electrocuted itself and died. In the process, it has also wrecked my computer and I've spent the past few weeks trying to salvage it part by part.
3) I'm busy with a game.
This time round, it's not 1 or 2, and is indeed number 3! Because I've recently started on World of Warcraft (WoW) again, and I've been busy rushing to level 85 and gearing my character up for raids!
I've found a stable group now, but whether they're good enough to progress through Firelands is another question... sigh. Hope we can at least clear 4-6/7!
School is starting again, and there's alot of shit to be done too. Bidding for modules is starting soon, and despite having planned my modules way in advance, I've a feeling something will cock up and I've to replan everything (i.e. SE1101E goes for too high a price)
I hope I'll be able to get my ideal timetable, and that I can get back into the groove of studying too, amid the raiding in WoW too :/
(I never knew 'amid' was the same as 'amidst'. I've always used 'amidst'. But they actually mean the same thing. I found that out when @stcom tweeted using 'amid' and I went to google)
I've been thinking about something recently, about my self. What kind of person am I really? What do people perceive me as? If I was not me, would I like myself?
Yes, the self is a very unique concept, and is something we think about much more than we realize.
In psych, we learn that there are 3 general motives for wanting to learn more about your self - appraisal motive, verification motive and enhancement motive.
Appraisal motive
This is wanting to know truly what you actually are and how you are perceived by others.
E.g. Am I really a good singer? Am I seen as an easily irritable person?
Self-verification motive
This is wanting to verify whether what you think about yourself is really what others think about you too. I.e., whether your self-perception is in line with others' perception of you.
E.g. I think I am a kind person. Do others think I am a kind person?
Enhancement motive
This is wanting to learn good things about yourself to boost your own ego and feelings of self-worth.
E.g. Everyone is clapping after I have sang, they must think I'm a good singer!
Scientists say that the enhancement motive is the strongest among all 3 motives (and appraisal the weakest!), and we tend to be biased towards that motive and perceive things in that manner. I'll use one scenario to illustrate all three to make it clearer:
We all enjoy compliments, whether we believe them or not. 'You are beautiful!' 'That dress looks so pretty!' 'You're really good at this!' Personally, I love them. And I think my verification motive is really strong.
E.g. recently in WoW, I believe that I'm a good healer, so I asked the raid leader how was my healing (when I knew my healing output was more than the rest already), and she said something along the lines of 'WOW! Bryan !! Sam!! (the 2 other healers) he heal much more than you all leh! And his gear not even as high as yours!! Ok la, have to give it to him, he's good'
HAHA. Head swell like nothing. But yea I did believe that I was a good healer (maybe not as good DPS/Tank), so I wanted validation for that.
But what's the point in knowing all these? why do you want to know how you are perceived by others? It comes down to self-presentation. What do you want others to think about you? Are you ok with letting others see this side of you? Do you want to be known as a ____ person?
And I realized that I am holding my tongue a lot sometimes, and just trying to mold myself into the person that everyone wants me to be. Often, I just want to be liked. I conform. I imitate. I mimic.
Which brings me to the surprising news today - I'm going to start a private blog!
Yes, it's going to be a more personal blog where I post all my rants and crap that I really wanna get off my chest. it probably won't be interesting at all, I mean, how interesting can a rambling person be.
Thus, it'll be very exclusive and secret, if you want to read it, you have to ask me personally for the address. I won't use names there, so there's no way you can Google to pick it up either.
After all, we all need an outlet.
1) My mothership has come to pick me up, but I firmly refuse, and so they sent twenty six little aliens to catch me but I've been evading them for the past few weeks and finally managed to exterminate all of them and hence I'm back.
(On a side note, someone just told me Mr Bean is actually an alien... that's why the opening sequence shows him falling from the sky under a spotlight thing. And also why he's so socially awkward. True/False?)
2) A hungry rat found its way into my CPU and has gnawed through all the circuits and wire and finally electrocuted itself and died. In the process, it has also wrecked my computer and I've spent the past few weeks trying to salvage it part by part.
3) I'm busy with a game.
This time round, it's not 1 or 2, and is indeed number 3! Because I've recently started on World of Warcraft (WoW) again, and I've been busy rushing to level 85 and gearing my character up for raids!
I've found a stable group now, but whether they're good enough to progress through Firelands is another question... sigh. Hope we can at least clear 4-6/7!
School is starting again, and there's alot of shit to be done too. Bidding for modules is starting soon, and despite having planned my modules way in advance, I've a feeling something will cock up and I've to replan everything (i.e. SE1101E goes for too high a price)
I hope I'll be able to get my ideal timetable, and that I can get back into the groove of studying too, amid the raiding in WoW too :/
(I never knew 'amid' was the same as 'amidst'. I've always used 'amidst'. But they actually mean the same thing. I found that out when @stcom tweeted using 'amid' and I went to google)
I've been thinking about something recently, about my self. What kind of person am I really? What do people perceive me as? If I was not me, would I like myself?
Yes, the self is a very unique concept, and is something we think about much more than we realize.
In psych, we learn that there are 3 general motives for wanting to learn more about your self - appraisal motive, verification motive and enhancement motive.
Appraisal motive
This is wanting to know truly what you actually are and how you are perceived by others.
E.g. Am I really a good singer? Am I seen as an easily irritable person?
Self-verification motive
This is wanting to verify whether what you think about yourself is really what others think about you too. I.e., whether your self-perception is in line with others' perception of you.
E.g. I think I am a kind person. Do others think I am a kind person?
Enhancement motive
This is wanting to learn good things about yourself to boost your own ego and feelings of self-worth.
E.g. Everyone is clapping after I have sang, they must think I'm a good singer!
Scientists say that the enhancement motive is the strongest among all 3 motives (and appraisal the weakest!), and we tend to be biased towards that motive and perceive things in that manner. I'll use one scenario to illustrate all three to make it clearer:
You have just given a little performance in which you sang 3 different types of songs. If:
Your appraisal motive is strong - You'll ask the singing expert in the room whether you sang well.
Your verification motive is strong - You'll acknowledge that you sang the first 2 types of songs poorly but your forte is the 3rd song, and you'll ask if people agree with this.
Your enhancement motive is strong - You'll ask only certain friends who always praise you for feedback.
We all enjoy compliments, whether we believe them or not. 'You are beautiful!' 'That dress looks so pretty!' 'You're really good at this!' Personally, I love them. And I think my verification motive is really strong.
E.g. recently in WoW, I believe that I'm a good healer, so I asked the raid leader how was my healing (when I knew my healing output was more than the rest already), and she said something along the lines of 'WOW! Bryan !! Sam!! (the 2 other healers) he heal much more than you all leh! And his gear not even as high as yours!! Ok la, have to give it to him, he's good'
HAHA. Head swell like nothing. But yea I did believe that I was a good healer (maybe not as good DPS/Tank), so I wanted validation for that.
But what's the point in knowing all these? why do you want to know how you are perceived by others? It comes down to self-presentation. What do you want others to think about you? Are you ok with letting others see this side of you? Do you want to be known as a ____ person?
And I realized that I am holding my tongue a lot sometimes, and just trying to mold myself into the person that everyone wants me to be. Often, I just want to be liked. I conform. I imitate. I mimic.
Which brings me to the surprising news today - I'm going to start a private blog!
Yes, it's going to be a more personal blog where I post all my rants and crap that I really wanna get off my chest. it probably won't be interesting at all, I mean, how interesting can a rambling person be.
Thus, it'll be very exclusive and secret, if you want to read it, you have to ask me personally for the address. I won't use names there, so there's no way you can Google to pick it up either.
After all, we all need an outlet.
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