bang bang.

ah, what a week. my original idea for a blog post changed as the week changed. Ok i must be very careful what i blog, cos it's an offence to publish on the Web anything about the army. i dont know to what degree it is la.. like.. if i say 'SAF uniform is green' omg is that an offence.
Hence i'll try to be as vague as possible when i go into the details. (whee what a paradox eh.)

anyway. the first 2 days were ridiculously slack. it was shooting practice and only 2 platoons could go at once, so that resulted in alot of free time. We could even take afternoon naps. ha. But it got back to normal on wed, then thurs/fri was the live range, where we had our shooting test. I THINK i passed, not very sure though. :S

The rest of the entry is quite long and wordy, if you're busy , you can stop here. thanks for coming chowz

i actually made some blog entries while i was in camp. cos alot of waiting time and stuff, so i wrote like a diary kinda thing.
So if you wanna ask 'how is army', here are my thoughts for various days.

I fell sick on Mon (well i was already coughing since the previous week but it escalated), so here's an entry from then:

"Misery. A feeling evoked by external factors, unfavourable and detestable factors. Waking up to not being able to swallow saliva without feeling like someone's twisting my oesophagus (throat). Nose going all runny as it was raining in the early morning and it was really cold.
Holding on to the small glimmer of hope that i'll get better as the day progressed, these very hopes were dashed as my fellow bunk/platoon mates announced their own misery with synchronized coughing. How does one get better with trillions of germs surrounding him?

I hoped that 5BX would be toned down due to a slight drizzle and wet floor, but i was terribly wrong. The pace was normal, or even quicker than usual. Getting wet with sweat and rain all over my body with strong gusts of wind accenting the effects. Doing crunches and pushups on soaking wet ground. Then changing to a Tshirt which absorbs as much sweat as plastic. I was stuck with a layer of water on my body while marching. Oh yes, the wind was relentlesss. With the onset of fever, i had to gobble down the oily tasteless noodles and a cold hard square chicken-filet thing.

I continue my fervent prayers in hope that at long last, God will actually answer my prayers. Doubt creeps in and queries form, but i cannot falter. i cannot lose faith. In an environment of little rest, hostility, sickness, misery, we all need something to cling on to, somethign to look forward to, something to seek comfort in. Hope is a very dangerous thing to lose.

As i squeeze my eyes shut to end the nightmare, i can only open them to the harsh reality. There's no escape. I have to press on."

And another entry on Wednesday:
"Time flies past. Time comes to a standstill. It's ironic how the only constant in the human world can be perceived very differently at different times.
In army the anecdotes are simple. The physical trainings seem to never end. Yet, when we have our breaks, these breaks seem to end before they even begin.
I feel alot better now. The medicine that the doctor gave seems to work, though they have a weird side effect of raising my heartbeat. I timed it, and my heart was beating at 100 beats per minute when i was just lying on my bed. It kinda frightens me that i may get cardiac arrest or something.
Was having an interesting conversation with amanda last night, something along the lines of 'if you could change something about your life, what would you change?' Like.. go back in time and do something differently.
In this scenario, perspective once again comes into play. One of my biggest regrets in life is now no longer a regret after meeting amanda. If i hadn't done things that way, things wouldn't be what they are now. =)

Vague, i know. If you wanna know more you can ask me personally :)
~~~


ok that ends my post. probably gonna go sleep. bye.