and i'm alone.

the sky is grey
a storm is coming
the end is near
will it pass?

i hold on
to the umbrella
it never hurts
to be prepared

the storm will leave
houses overturned
ruin lives
ruin mine

this all doesn't rhyme
i didn't try
i can't rhyme
when i'm down.

swirl

when thoughts whirl and swirl in your head, sometimes you just need to stop talking, walking, stop moving, stop.. thinking, to let the thoughts settle. the whirling and swirling of thoughts makes you woozy as you try to keep your head steady and continue doing what you're doing.

this occurs when a particular bit of news is dropped onto you which leaves a certain impact on you. and you try hard to dig deep for an adequate response, a suitable way of replying.. but come up short. the whirling and swirling is too much to take.

i got such a particular bit of news today when i was out with amanda. it left me reeling literally. i had to walk off and lean my head for awhile to let it settle in. no, she didnt break up with me. she loves me ok. (i think?) rawr. =X it's just.. something private that i dont' wanna post up here, but it did leave me reeling.

now, 4-5 hours after that bombshell, the whirls and swirls have settled down to a muck. all is not clear, so i cannot be at ease. but the wooziness is gone. and.. i can't say i fully accept the piece of news yet though i did tell her i accepted it. i can, just that.. it'll take awhile to .. settle in. though i really hope it can be reversed. sigh.

a particular song i like is 'Rescue' by Newsong. a line i have repeated countless number of times in army:

So won't You give me strength
to make it through somehow
(i've never been more homesick than now)

(the line in brackets isn't relevant to this entry but i do repeat it in army)

cryptic eh? aint that always the case :)

on a happier note, lemme quote a paragraph from her blog that made me smile:

"the next one's even better. alan's in army, and going off for field camp, so i wasn't expecting anything at all. but he already had it all planned out. he actually sent timo to deliver a vday package to me at the bank. =) that really made my day! yup!"

yknow when you do something nice or sweet for somebody, the least you expect (or what you want) is for the person to appreciate it and like it. and i made her day with it =) wheeee. :D



i guess the dream i wrote about will not be realised. :/

back from field camp

hi all. im back from my 5 day 4 night field camp. which was pretty exhausting. not that the activities were all super strenous or what. it's just that.. having no rest and little proper uninterrupted sleep at night leaves your body weak. like for the last 2 days i was sleeping in a hole i dug in the ground. imagine how comfortable that is. -_-

zz then my training schedule is super screwed up. for other ppl usually after field camp they have one day of rest, where it's all lectures or sth. for me? nono, we have SOC (standard obstacle course) which was pretty tiring. and i got this huge burst blister on my palm. the size of a small fingernail.

AND. this morning we had 12km route march. -_- zzzz. a route march is basically walking in this attire called SBO. let's calculate the weight
helmet - 1KG
Load Bearing Vest - 2-3 KG (to put it simply, it's a vest you wear around yourself)
Uniform - 0.5-1KG
Rifle - 2-3 KG
Field Pack - 7-10KG
= about 15 KG
And so we walk on and on and on. uphill mainly. freaking tiring. and it left me with a giganormous blister on the underside of my right foot, so it's freaking hard to walk. ugh.

AND, this coming monday i have the 16km route march. how awesome.

sigh ok ill go cheer myself up with prison break and lost. cya.