I got my friend a soft toy soccer ball for his birthday.
Friend: Eh! you got me the exact same thing some years ago! just a different colour.
Me: !!! oh no! really! lol sorry ! my inability to pick new and creative presents is prevalent once again :(
Friend: It's ok.. now got 2 balls. I'm a man now.
ROFL
funniest thing i've heard this month!! or these 2 months! or this year! i dunno!? but it's just freaking funny hahahaha.
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Thursday, 5 November 2009
mcdonalds
back by popular demand (or rather the constant request of one person)
DISCLAIMER: The below event is entirely ficitatious and is a product of the author's imagination.
At a board meeting for McDonalds 3 weeks ago... 2 weeks after the Hello Kitty HP board meeting..
Chairman : Ok, we've been hitting a slump lately. Our online campaign seems quite a hit, Mcdelivery sales has gone up 40%! Seems like everyone wants the Hello Kitty phone ??
Marketing Director 1: Yea man! one of my friend's sister's friend's brother actually won the 1st week's Hello Kitty Sony Ericsson phone and he was so happy about it!
MD 2: Are you kidding? You mean he used it?
MD 1: er no.. he was just happy that he won it. singaporeans are like that what, you offer a prize, they'll do anything to win it. even if it means doing stupid things like ordering countless numbers of meals online. He's putting the phone on Ebay.
Chairman: okok back on topic. as i was saying, online sales has gone up 40%.. but our dine-in sales has dropped 40%!!!
MD1: oh dear, must be that bulk of customers deciding to stop dining in and order online to win the useless Hello Kitty phone.
Chairman: yea. we need an idea to attract them to dine in!
MD2: how about offering something useless again? Like.. a bugs bunny t shirt? or maybe we can start selling Hello kittys again to attract people?
MD1: nah having 2 hello kitty things seems counterproductive. people may start questioning why we support hello kitty so much too. i mean, he (she?) doesnt even have a mouth to eat mcdonalds! are we promoting non-eating?how about scratch and win coupons again?
Chairman: hmm ok we shall have the scratch and win coupons again.. but it seems so repetitive! we had it several years back. is there any way to innovate and come up with a different type of scratch and win thing?
MD2: how about stickers instead of scratch and win? they peel off the cover of the coupon to see their prize.
MD1: yea but that'll mean they need something to stick to? we gonna provide like a... game sheet?
MD2: How about a game board! We could make a MCdonalds edition of Monopoly! There's been star wars, singapore, lord of the rings, i dont see why not Mcdonalds!
Chairman: ah yes, that's quite brilliant! and we're gonna have to tack on a grand prize that's wildly attractive so that people will want to work towards it!
MD1: eh, let's do marketing cheat #129 ?
MD2: which one is that?
MD1: Marketting cheat #129 : "The creation of a huge grand prize with very low odds to win, hence attracting strong participation, but subsequently removing those very odds completely such that the management wins."
MD2: you're suggesting we make the grand prize .. unwinnable?
MD1: yes. let's say for monopoly, the winning ticket will be the dark blue one. we just print alot of the other dark blue set so that people get all hyped up when they get one half of it. what they don't know is that we didn't even print the other half! so they'll never win!
Chairman : that's positively brilliant. ok we'll make the prize money something amazing.. $50k! let's see how many people get suckered into it =D
DISCLAIMER: The below event is entirely ficitatious and is a product of the author's imagination.
At a board meeting for McDonalds 3 weeks ago... 2 weeks after the Hello Kitty HP board meeting..
Chairman : Ok, we've been hitting a slump lately. Our online campaign seems quite a hit, Mcdelivery sales has gone up 40%! Seems like everyone wants the Hello Kitty phone ??
Marketing Director 1: Yea man! one of my friend's sister's friend's brother actually won the 1st week's Hello Kitty Sony Ericsson phone and he was so happy about it!
MD 2: Are you kidding? You mean he used it?
MD 1: er no.. he was just happy that he won it. singaporeans are like that what, you offer a prize, they'll do anything to win it. even if it means doing stupid things like ordering countless numbers of meals online. He's putting the phone on Ebay.
Chairman: okok back on topic. as i was saying, online sales has gone up 40%.. but our dine-in sales has dropped 40%!!!
MD1: oh dear, must be that bulk of customers deciding to stop dining in and order online to win the useless Hello Kitty phone.
Chairman: yea. we need an idea to attract them to dine in!
MD2: how about offering something useless again? Like.. a bugs bunny t shirt? or maybe we can start selling Hello kittys again to attract people?
MD1: nah having 2 hello kitty things seems counterproductive. people may start questioning why we support hello kitty so much too. i mean, he (she?) doesnt even have a mouth to eat mcdonalds! are we promoting non-eating?how about scratch and win coupons again?
Chairman: hmm ok we shall have the scratch and win coupons again.. but it seems so repetitive! we had it several years back. is there any way to innovate and come up with a different type of scratch and win thing?
MD2: how about stickers instead of scratch and win? they peel off the cover of the coupon to see their prize.
MD1: yea but that'll mean they need something to stick to? we gonna provide like a... game sheet?
MD2: How about a game board! We could make a MCdonalds edition of Monopoly! There's been star wars, singapore, lord of the rings, i dont see why not Mcdonalds!
Chairman: ah yes, that's quite brilliant! and we're gonna have to tack on a grand prize that's wildly attractive so that people will want to work towards it!
MD1: eh, let's do marketing cheat #129 ?
MD2: which one is that?
MD1: Marketting cheat #129 : "The creation of a huge grand prize with very low odds to win, hence attracting strong participation, but subsequently removing those very odds completely such that the management wins."
MD2: you're suggesting we make the grand prize .. unwinnable?
MD1: yes. let's say for monopoly, the winning ticket will be the dark blue one. we just print alot of the other dark blue set so that people get all hyped up when they get one half of it. what they don't know is that we didn't even print the other half! so they'll never win!
Chairman : that's positively brilliant. ok we'll make the prize money something amazing.. $50k! let's see how many people get suckered into it =D
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
the o r d post
Just in case you didn't know, ORD stands for Operationally Ready Date, which means i'm officially ready/available for any sudden activations that may occur if Singapore was to go to war. :o
So i'm not exactly free from NS, i still have my 10 cycle liability.. but other than that
I'M FREE ZOMG
Well technically my ORD is on 10th November, but after booking out this morning I don't have to go back to camp anymore till 10th Nov to collect my pink IC =) so.. cheers :D
Ok this post is gonna be like a... reflections post or something. I don't really have a very definite picture of what i'm going to write, but i'll just.. type as the things come to my mind.
Let's start with a 'no more' section:
No more waking up at 6am in the morning and having to fall in for first parade by 715. SLEEP.
No more cringing when hearing the word 'book-in'
No more eating cat-food-standard SFI food. I mean, everyone feeds the food to the cats. And i dont know how many times i've opened a packet of rations from SFI and spent a good 30 seconds trying to process what on earth is edible in the box, then decide that nothing is and hence closing the box.
No more facing the horrible 'birdman'. no elaboration as i can't be bothered wasted words on him.
No more missing WoW raids. :o
No more having difficulty sleeping because the other people in the room sleep later and hence don't switch the light off and carry on talking
No more thinking when i next have to book-in
Some of my worst moments were in army. In fact, i think the worst day/night of my life is definitely in army and i can remember it very clearly -
it was during my Sispec overseas training, during one of the days of field camp. It had rained every single day of the outfield training, leading to a very miserable mood among everybody.
So imagine us - wet, soaked, drenched (ok all 3 words have the same meaning i don't know why i just used them in sequence) and cold, and night fell upon us. The rain had softened abit - softened, not stopped.
We knew we had to build some form of shelter, since it was probably gonna rain again (dark clouds, lightning/thunder were a dead giveaway) So we built some shelter with our groundsheets, etc, then all hid under it. I recall there were 4 of us under one groundsheet.
The worst part wasnt my body being wet - i had no problems with that, besides being very chilly. The worst was the wet socks. They clung to your feet and made you feel extremely uncomfortable. and there's virtually no way of drying them (besides changing them, which is pretty pointless considering they'll get wet before you can even put them on, and even after they're on they'll just get even wetter)
So us with the wet socks and shivering bodies, we were huddled together under shelter. Guess what? Of course, it rained again. it poured. The entire night.
I had never felt so cold before in my life. Maybe it was the rain, or the cold, or the outfield.. or a combination of all three. But i really felt like i was gonna get hypothermia or something. The 4 of us huddled together and were practically hugging each other, to no avail. It was FREEZING.
And that was how we 'slept' through the night. WORST NIGHT EVER.
And of course, my worst sickness (besides the fits i had when i was small which i have no recollection of so they're not counted) was also during army.. this time when i was in my unit, during our overseas training.
I was healthy as a fiddle all the way till the morning of R&R.. when we were scheduled to go visit theme parks and shop and enjoy ourselves.. when i woke up that morning, i knew i was screwed.
My stomach felt twisted in a million ways. I had a bad diarrhoea and couldn't stay out of the toilet. I constantly felt like vomiting.
The doctor at the camp there gave me a jab and some medicine, but it didn't help much. I still constantly felt nauseous and had diarrhoea nonstop. When we stopped for lunch at some restaurant, i took a nibble out of literally 3 grains of rice.. but when the scent of food settled on my tongue i immediately wanted to vomit and my stomach churned. so i couldn't eat.
This carried on till i returned to Singapore.. how sad eh. Even on the plane, i visited the toilet 6 times. I think i'm totally familiar with the small lavatory on the Silkair plane now.
~~~~~~~~~~~
So now, on to the next chapter of my life. Which is.. well, before uni even starts, is having a part-time job. I've never worked in a part-time job before in my life. So.. lol.
I'm trying to apply for a relief teaching job in my old school.. probably my primary school. Hope i get it!
Till then.. i'll be extremely free, except for mon/wed/fri nights when i have WoW raids. otherwise, ASK ME OUT!. yes yes. free as a bird.
-flaps wings-
So i'm not exactly free from NS, i still have my 10 cycle liability.. but other than that
I'M FREE ZOMG
Well technically my ORD is on 10th November, but after booking out this morning I don't have to go back to camp anymore till 10th Nov to collect my pink IC =) so.. cheers :D
Ok this post is gonna be like a... reflections post or something. I don't really have a very definite picture of what i'm going to write, but i'll just.. type as the things come to my mind.
Let's start with a 'no more' section:
No more waking up at 6am in the morning and having to fall in for first parade by 715. SLEEP.
No more cringing when hearing the word 'book-in'
No more eating cat-food-standard SFI food. I mean, everyone feeds the food to the cats. And i dont know how many times i've opened a packet of rations from SFI and spent a good 30 seconds trying to process what on earth is edible in the box, then decide that nothing is and hence closing the box.
No more facing the horrible 'birdman'. no elaboration as i can't be bothered wasted words on him.
No more missing WoW raids. :o
No more having difficulty sleeping because the other people in the room sleep later and hence don't switch the light off and carry on talking
No more thinking when i next have to book-in
Some of my worst moments were in army. In fact, i think the worst day/night of my life is definitely in army and i can remember it very clearly -
it was during my Sispec overseas training, during one of the days of field camp. It had rained every single day of the outfield training, leading to a very miserable mood among everybody.
So imagine us - wet, soaked, drenched (ok all 3 words have the same meaning i don't know why i just used them in sequence) and cold, and night fell upon us. The rain had softened abit - softened, not stopped.
We knew we had to build some form of shelter, since it was probably gonna rain again (dark clouds, lightning/thunder were a dead giveaway) So we built some shelter with our groundsheets, etc, then all hid under it. I recall there were 4 of us under one groundsheet.
The worst part wasnt my body being wet - i had no problems with that, besides being very chilly. The worst was the wet socks. They clung to your feet and made you feel extremely uncomfortable. and there's virtually no way of drying them (besides changing them, which is pretty pointless considering they'll get wet before you can even put them on, and even after they're on they'll just get even wetter)
So us with the wet socks and shivering bodies, we were huddled together under shelter. Guess what? Of course, it rained again. it poured. The entire night.
I had never felt so cold before in my life. Maybe it was the rain, or the cold, or the outfield.. or a combination of all three. But i really felt like i was gonna get hypothermia or something. The 4 of us huddled together and were practically hugging each other, to no avail. It was FREEZING.
And that was how we 'slept' through the night. WORST NIGHT EVER.
And of course, my worst sickness (besides the fits i had when i was small which i have no recollection of so they're not counted) was also during army.. this time when i was in my unit, during our overseas training.
I was healthy as a fiddle all the way till the morning of R&R.. when we were scheduled to go visit theme parks and shop and enjoy ourselves.. when i woke up that morning, i knew i was screwed.
My stomach felt twisted in a million ways. I had a bad diarrhoea and couldn't stay out of the toilet. I constantly felt like vomiting.
The doctor at the camp there gave me a jab and some medicine, but it didn't help much. I still constantly felt nauseous and had diarrhoea nonstop. When we stopped for lunch at some restaurant, i took a nibble out of literally 3 grains of rice.. but when the scent of food settled on my tongue i immediately wanted to vomit and my stomach churned. so i couldn't eat.
This carried on till i returned to Singapore.. how sad eh. Even on the plane, i visited the toilet 6 times. I think i'm totally familiar with the small lavatory on the Silkair plane now.
~~~~~~~~~~~
So now, on to the next chapter of my life. Which is.. well, before uni even starts, is having a part-time job. I've never worked in a part-time job before in my life. So.. lol.
I'm trying to apply for a relief teaching job in my old school.. probably my primary school. Hope i get it!
Till then.. i'll be extremely free, except for mon/wed/fri nights when i have WoW raids. otherwise, ASK ME OUT!. yes yes. free as a bird.
-flaps wings-
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