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come on
Thursday, 18 October 2007
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
reader digest has funny jokes
seriously! they are pretty good. maybe it's because of the $100 prize if your joke gets published so everybody sends in jokes and they can pick the best.
What sound does a grape make when we step on it?
(highlight here to read -> It makes a little whine <- )
Confuscius says,
man who step off cliff
jump to conclusion
!!! rofl!
(in case you arent aware of 'confuscius says' jokes, they are basically puns with bad english (i.e. to appear like a translation from some chinese saying) such as.. Confuscius says, man who steal other man's fruit juice end up with punch in face. ^^ )
Ah, 30 or 40 days more till this is all over. studying is so monotonous.
thank god for study partners :)
What sound does a grape make when we step on it?
(highlight here to read -> It makes a little whine <- )
Confuscius says,
man who step off cliff
jump to conclusion
!!! rofl!
(in case you arent aware of 'confuscius says' jokes, they are basically puns with bad english (i.e. to appear like a translation from some chinese saying) such as.. Confuscius says, man who steal other man's fruit juice end up with punch in face. ^^ )
Ah, 30 or 40 days more till this is all over. studying is so monotonous.
thank god for study partners :)
Sunday, 14 October 2007
adam and eve
Ok for everyone who has at least a basic basic knowledge of the Bible, you should know that the biblical characters i.e. adameve, abraham, etc all lived to several hundred years old right?
Well ok the first obvious reaction will be woah that's long, we all only live like 80+ years now, when someone hits 100+ it's already like super rare and they all look like their skin is falling off and very skeletonish and ancient.
But have you ever thought of - WHAT are they doing for several hundred years?!?
They have no TV, no music, no computer, no NOTHING.
Then you say i am naive, life isn't all about technology, just look at the current day and age African people all subsistence farmers also no technology, blabla. But NOTHING was invented back then yet!
no light bulbs, no houses, no ploughs, no NOTHING.
What on earth are they doing for so long? They can't be making out all day right, there will be many Cains and Abels then cos no condoms yet. (chris suggests that there may have been many, but not recorded in bible. )
I present to you - Life of people-who-lived-till-900-years-old
(i thought of all these ok, 100% original)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Rooster crows-
Eve: "for goodness sake why does that noisy animal make so much noise every morning!!"
Adam yawns. "ya man stupid cock. Damn noisy that irritating thing. Let's name it. i shall call it.. a COCK."
Eve: "eh cannot la, sounds quite crude"
Adam "... ok fine.. I'll make it slightly longer. COCKEREL. How's that? Wow i'm good at this naming shit. I should name more things"
Eve: "Oh yea? ok name that other thing that looks like the COCKEREL but without the red thing on its head"
Adam: "Hmm.. it keeps on touching the cockerel. let's call it.. a HEN."
Eve: "... ok i dont want to know why you chose that name"
Adam and Eve get out of... the wooden poles arranged in a rectangle (remember, no bed invented yet). They rub their eyes sleepily and look around.
Adam: "Hey your leaf is falling off, dear"
Eve pulls up the leaf covering her bosom.
"Thanks hubby. Hmm, what should we do today? i feel like travelling"
Adam: "hmm.. ok. Shall we go to France? I heard the scenery is pretty nice there. It'll only take about fifty years to walk there."
Eve " Nah.. that's too far. How about some place nearer? like... America? I think it takes only 40 years to reach there!"
Adam " 40, 50 years, what's the difference. how about nearby? isn't there anything we can do?"
Eve looks around. 'Well.. we can do what we've been doing the past 20 years. We can continue observing how fast this grass patch is growing."
Adam "hmm, im getting bored of that. We dont have anything to measure it with besides our bodys, and it's already almost higher than us! So we have to do something new now."
Eve: "That's true. How about.. we count the grains of sand on the beach nearby?"
Adam: "hmm.. that sounds like fun! ok ill start from one end and you start from the other end!"
Eve: "Ok! see you in a few years!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
zomg can u imagine how bo liao they are with nothing to do. no school no entertainment no NOTHING. ok let's imagine several scenes, with fictitious names, same.. era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A medieval soccer team->
Johny: hmm coach, who should we pick as our midfielder?
Coach: i need somebody youthful, we need alot of pace as our opposition is strong
Johny: how about TeeHow? He is only 240 years old, still in his prime!
Coach: hm.. but the competition is in Brazil. So by the time we reach there.. he will be approaching 300..which is still young! ok! i shall pick him.
In a school->
Teacher: Ok class, open up your History books. Ok first question: 'what was Sir Stanfird Ruffles doing 300 years ago in the Garden of Iden?'
Carben: teacher i know! he was climbing trees with my dad!
Teacher: well done!
~~~~~~
OK, i'm lazy to think of any more stupid scenarios. but you get the idea. everyone must have been really bored. and it must have been really weird living till 900 years old.
gnite bye.
Well ok the first obvious reaction will be woah that's long, we all only live like 80+ years now, when someone hits 100+ it's already like super rare and they all look like their skin is falling off and very skeletonish and ancient.
But have you ever thought of - WHAT are they doing for several hundred years?!?
They have no TV, no music, no computer, no NOTHING.
Then you say i am naive, life isn't all about technology, just look at the current day and age African people all subsistence farmers also no technology, blabla. But NOTHING was invented back then yet!
no light bulbs, no houses, no ploughs, no NOTHING.
What on earth are they doing for so long? They can't be making out all day right, there will be many Cains and Abels then cos no condoms yet. (chris suggests that there may have been many, but not recorded in bible. )
I present to you - Life of people-who-lived-till-900-years-old
(i thought of all these ok, 100% original)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Rooster crows-
Eve: "for goodness sake why does that noisy animal make so much noise every morning!!"
Adam yawns. "ya man stupid cock. Damn noisy that irritating thing. Let's name it. i shall call it.. a COCK."
Eve: "eh cannot la, sounds quite crude"
Adam "... ok fine.. I'll make it slightly longer. COCKEREL. How's that? Wow i'm good at this naming shit. I should name more things"
Eve: "Oh yea? ok name that other thing that looks like the COCKEREL but without the red thing on its head"
Adam: "Hmm.. it keeps on touching the cockerel. let's call it.. a HEN."
Eve: "... ok i dont want to know why you chose that name"
Adam and Eve get out of... the wooden poles arranged in a rectangle (remember, no bed invented yet). They rub their eyes sleepily and look around.
Adam: "Hey your leaf is falling off, dear"
Eve pulls up the leaf covering her bosom.
"Thanks hubby. Hmm, what should we do today? i feel like travelling"
Adam: "hmm.. ok. Shall we go to France? I heard the scenery is pretty nice there. It'll only take about fifty years to walk there."
Eve " Nah.. that's too far. How about some place nearer? like... America? I think it takes only 40 years to reach there!"
Adam " 40, 50 years, what's the difference. how about nearby? isn't there anything we can do?"
Eve looks around. 'Well.. we can do what we've been doing the past 20 years. We can continue observing how fast this grass patch is growing."
Adam "hmm, im getting bored of that. We dont have anything to measure it with besides our bodys, and it's already almost higher than us! So we have to do something new now."
Eve: "That's true. How about.. we count the grains of sand on the beach nearby?"
Adam: "hmm.. that sounds like fun! ok ill start from one end and you start from the other end!"
Eve: "Ok! see you in a few years!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
zomg can u imagine how bo liao they are with nothing to do. no school no entertainment no NOTHING. ok let's imagine several scenes, with fictitious names, same.. era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A medieval soccer team->
Johny: hmm coach, who should we pick as our midfielder?
Coach: i need somebody youthful, we need alot of pace as our opposition is strong
Johny: how about TeeHow? He is only 240 years old, still in his prime!
Coach: hm.. but the competition is in Brazil. So by the time we reach there.. he will be approaching 300..which is still young! ok! i shall pick him.
In a school->
Teacher: Ok class, open up your History books. Ok first question: 'what was Sir Stanfird Ruffles doing 300 years ago in the Garden of Iden?'
Carben: teacher i know! he was climbing trees with my dad!
Teacher: well done!
~~~~~~
OK, i'm lazy to think of any more stupid scenarios. but you get the idea. everyone must have been really bored. and it must have been really weird living till 900 years old.
gnite bye.
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