On 6th of November (actual date is 5th, but I was busy), I celebrated my third year anniversary with my girlfriend by going for a simple dinner date at Fosters Steakhouse @ Holland Village. The food was really good albeit a little pricey. But it was alright. Good food with good company. My idea of a perfect date (romantic or platonic friends both).
I can't believe it's been three years since we've been together. That's a pretty long time if I think about it - three years ago, I was a helpless freshman in university. Now I am a junior (as they call it in America) who can't wait to graduate.
I'm grateful for this lovely girl who somehow sees something in me - this ordinary, unambitious, common person. I'm not the best of boyfriends - I don't send my gf home, I don't really spend a lot of time with her (well we see each other every weekend for church, but we don't have regular dates, unlike some other couples I know), and when I do go out with her, I'm not really good at staying out late.
I get tired and some sort of mental clock kicks in and I'll start wanting to go home just to rest, to unwind, to relax. That's assuming my social energy hasn't depleted before that.
I feel bad sometimes for giving her the subtle 'Hmm, what time is it' to hint at my fatigue, when I can see it in her eyes sometimes that she just wants that much more time with me. How do humans do it? This whole hanging out with people you love for long periods thing. I think I'm an alien. I'm like that for everyone - my bestie, my sbff, my close friends - our meetings don't really last long while I hear of other people talking for hours or something.
I guess what I try to do is to give more quality over quantity. I try to be there 100% when I'm out with my girl; I've had the habit of keeping my phone out of sight just to send the indirect signal that says 'hey, I don't care about the rest of the world now, I'm here with you now and that's what my mind's on'. I hope that compensates for my inability to stay out for long.
Or maybe the trick is to start dates earlier. If I get tired only at night, maybe if dates started from afternoons and extended to the night, then they would be longer right? Ok, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. Just letting thoughts flow. Mindfulness right. Nonjudgmental processing of ongoing thoughts.
For the recent year, I haven't had much doubt when thinking about our future together. And more recently, with a church friend getting married, we've been talking about weddings and stuff as if it was a natural progression, when in fact if you look at the journey we've taken it was quite a rocky one. But I guess it's through this rocky journey that we understand each other better, and iron out things that would be worse to get into after marriage.
I thank God for blessing us these past 3 years, for giving both of us the maturity and patience to bear with each other's shortcomings. For working through all the disagreements we've had. Relationships are tough. But they also bring great joy. The line 'if it makes you happy, it makes me happy too' is all too cheesy, but I've come to realize it is 100% true when it comes to her. When I see her smile and laugh, real, genuine smiles and laughs, my heart smiles.
It's not been easy, but it's never supposed to be easy. Every new year as a couple brings more challenges, fresh perspectives, new insights. Here's to 3 more (and hopefully many more) challenging yet fulfilling years to come.
