a post while on duty at SW

Sometimes in life, all we need is to be alone. In today's society, that seems to be impossible. It's too easy to be disturbed, be it by a phone call, an SMS, or simply the hectic pace of life that drags us away.

With urbanisation, there are less and less available places to be alone. Buildings go up where secluded spots used to be. even the vast ocean is dotted with cargo ships , oil rigs...

Even the place i'm in now, just 100m opposite this clearing is a factory of some sort. Sparks are flying, machines are grinding. Even now, at 120AM.
Behind me is the sea. The calming quality of this expanse of water is almost mystical (i struggle for a better word).

-a beautiful stray cat is circling me as i write, probably looking for more of the tuna sandwich i fed it with moments ago. Or maybe it's looking for the affectionate strokes of its soft grey fur i pampered it with earlier. It brushes against my legs, gleaming blue eyes poring at me. It meows. It really is a beautiful cat. It's tunnelling between my legs now. i wonder what's on its mind? what's on mine?-

I jut finished 'The Notebook' by Nicholas Sparks.. and i see why tehre's such critical acclaim for the book. Toward the last quarter of it, i was battling tears! The lump in my throat was hard to ignore. The beautiful, romantic story of Noah and Allie was just so well written! At the end of it i was feeling all emo and just thinking about life.

(whiskers is just sitting at my feet now, its ever-sparkling eyes begging at me some unknown request) (lol yes, i named it whiskers) (it actually meowed in response!!)

My plan for bookout is simple - all WOW related. i mean, sure, if bestie asks me for dinner or sth i ain't gonna reject her. but it seems like i'm always the one who initiates it so guess it wont happen.

but am i content with my plans?
no.

what do iw ant? i want to sit by the ocean with a companion and just pour out my thoughts, my dreams, with that person. This person doesn't have to be a romantic companion though of course that's preferable. No, i just need someone who can listen well, can express interest, understanding, concern, care. Who i care about enough to want to hear the same from so that i can be the listener.

-censored out a portion of what i wrote-

It's strange, the clarity i'm feeling now. It's 2am and i feel no hint of sleepiness. It must be the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that 'The Notebook' has triggered in me.
(Whiskers has left me, probably to its place of rest. It was stretching and yawning moments ago)

I thought 'A walk to remember' was a good movie.. but after reading 'the notebook' (same author as the novel walk to remember) .. the book must be freaking awesome and much better than the movie! (like it always is) I must find myself a copy.. ah..
(oh look, there's Whiskers in the distance, walking around)

ok, i shall end off with a poem. let's see how the words flow..

True Love
To find (true) love is a blessing
A privilege most covet
A stolen heart will always sing
Endlessly of the culprit

Sweet, is the touch of a lover
Bitter, will be separation
Gently, one might stir
in the blanket of emotion

The warmth of her embrace
Comforting is her voice
like forbidden fruit, her lips must taste
resistance is not a choice

When conquest leads to failure
One may truly doubt
The ability to find such a girl
that your life is all about

To fail is not to try at all
to see what love is worth
to realise life is so much more
perhaps one day I'll find true love.
--
alan teo (c) 2009

metaphorical stories.. EXPLAINED.

dont know how many of you actually read my 'metaphorical story' entries in the past.
story 1
story 2
and 3 4 5 . will link those next time when i explain them.

they in fact all have hidden meaning, and are reflecting something that was going on in my life at that point of time =) haha. they are seemingly TOTALLY random when u read it.. just check it out.

so today, i'm gonna explain.. 1 and 2.

excerpt from 1:
"So one month passed, and Justin was feeling alot better. He even joined Mouse-Adventure-Club, where they had weekly sessions to steal cheese from mousetraps, and he was one of the best cheese-stealer in the club. However, it must be noted that cheese stealing/hunting is an extremely dangerous sport, and every adventure could lead to death easily."

Ok omg i've totally no idea what this post is about. lol!
well what i can remember is 'Rob' is actually bestie, cos whenever i ask for advice on r'ship stuff she'll just give some absurd advice like 'aiya just kiss her la' or sth lidat.
i honestly can't rem who the girl was, basically it's someone i had a crush on la.


ok let's skip to 2
excerpt from 2:
"Suddenly, there was contact. Not the most definite, but there was contact. Finger against finger, hair against hair, whatever it was, there was the slightest minimal contact. Neither flinched, but instead their hands started to overlap. Within seconds their hands were clasped, interlocked in a symbol of unity."

this whole post i was actually describing one of my personal experiences :o yep, the very first girl whom i held hands with. the moment was surreal, really.
and the whole thing is exactly as it is. i think every single detail is true. such as the pulling arm around hip thing.

extravagant.

ok i had the most shitty cab driver just now.

he was some indian (ok anti-racist people are raising eyebrows here but i cant be bothered) cabby who TOTALLY SUCKED.

1) He drove at about 50km/h for the whole journey. HELLO? It's not a military vehicle ffs. you CAN go above 50 and not get into any trouble or anything.

2) He slowed down about 200-300m away from a traffic light. what?!?!? i know it's a safety practice to slow down as you're approaching a light so you have time to react if the light changes.. but he slowed down REALLY FAR AWAY. and even when he's really close like 20 metres away he still drives at the slowed down speed! it was really ridiculous.

3) When the cab reached my house, i asked to pay by netts. so he VERY SLOWLY reached for his spectacles and SLOWLY put it on. THEN, he pressed the stop on the meter, during which it jumped by 20cents.
I raised this to him, and guess what he said:
"Aiya, 20cents nevermind la, you one day also spend more than that, very little only"
WTF.

It's not a matter of the money, it's the principle of the matter. It's about.. honesty? Even if it was freaking 1 cent i also wont be happy.
~~~

anw the purpose of this entry wasn't to bitch about cab drivers but who ask this indian cabby to piss me off. grr.
The point was.. i'm freaking extravagant now la!

I'm taking cabs everywhere i go (well basically to and fro church) which is really quite waste money. And for my meals.. the price really isn't a consideration at all. NOT AT ALL. it's like i decide what to eat based on what i feel like eating. In the past will still like check wallet, see got how much.. see whether too ex.
now.. it doesn't matter! i just order!

not to mention the miscallaneous spending on snacks.. drinks. which in the past i'm always very stingy about. cos my funds were limited . lol.

and i think this is very bad cos i'm spending alot of money. well not alot, but .. it's kinda waste money. must be more thrifty!
gosh, i hate this rollercoaster emotional feeling. i really need to stop _______ ___. but how do you douse a raging fire? how do you calm a tornado? how do you stop this whirling dizzy feeling i feel about ______?
somebody save me.

awesome.

next time i book in after tmr, which is sunday (booking out on sat) , ill be in for 3 weeks. how awesome. what flawed logic does the army have huh. dont want us to go out and catch h1n1 -_-
lame ass.